The Four Step Method To Dealing With Any Adversity...
Being in a New Year doesn't mean that all our problems will magically disappear, just as you've overcome one problem another appears. Here's Dale Carnegie's 4 step method to dealing with adversity...
Happy New Week!
As mentioned in last week's newsletter, everybody starts the new year with great expectations and excitement. Then life happens. It’s important to understand that a new date doesn’t exactly mean all your problems will be over and solved. No matter how well you plan ahead, things will often not go according to plan. There will always be unexpected obstacles and setbacks along your path that can completely derail your efforts.
Most life events are out of our control, the only thing we can control is how we respond. We can respond in a negative/ limiting way or in a positive way that may lead to better outcomes than we expected. It’s important you don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed with negative emotions or thoughts. Dealing with adversity can become a positive and nourishing experience that can lead to massive growth and development. The hard times make us who we are, it tests our character and helps us build resilience and confidence that we can handle whatever life throws at us.
“If it's important to you, you must find a way. If it’s not, you must find a way out.” Paulo Coelho
Dale Carnegie created one of the most powerful tools that anyone can use when confronted with problems or worries of any kind.
Dale Carnegie’s four-step method to dealing with any adversity
Step one: Define The Problem Clearly
Recognise exactly what the problem is and what you’re worried about. Simplify it and write it down clearly.
Step Two: Determine The Worst Possible Outcome
Now that you can define the problem. Ask yourself “what's the worst thing that could happen in this situation?” Be extremely honest with yourself. You could lose money, your relationship, etc.
Step Three: Resolve To Accept The Worst, Should It Occur
Now you know the worst possible outcome, you can now start accepting that it is going to happen, no matter what you do.
“Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.” Benjamin Disraeli or MJ from Spiderman
As soon as you stop resisting the worst possible outcome, you'll relax and clear your mind, drastically improving your ability to deal with the situation. When you’re restless, you make reckless decisions.
Step Four: Expect and Improve The Worst-Case Scenario
Make peace with the situation.
Now you’ve already accepted the worst-case scenario you should put all your efforts into minimising the problem or resolving the issue. Make sure you concentrate on the future, not what’s happened, why it happened, and who’s to blame. Focus on what to do next, what’s the first step you can take and what steps can you take after to resolve the issue.
It is impossible to have a life without problems. The best way to respond to problems is quickly and positively. Define your problems clearly, the worst possible outcome, and concentrate all your energy on making sure that the very worst doesn’t happen.
I’ve found it extremely helpful speaking about my problems to certain people. You never know who may have encountered a similar problem or may have a suggestion or resolution to your problems. Sometimes all you may need is some words of encouragement, to be reminded that you’ve handled worse and you got through to it, or knowing that you’re not alone. No man is an island, we all need somebody.
Keep your thoughts on where you’re going, not on where you've been. Keep your eyes on your goals and accept the fact that it won’t come as easy as you wish. The year is still young, so if things are going as planned yet don’t be discouraged, keep going and take it one day at a time.